Monday, July 4, 2011

Okay!  I am a surprise, huh?  I screw up and make mistakes.  Saturday I was slapped in the face by how my sinfulness must look to other people if that is the only glimpse they have of me.

At the grocery in the line to pull out sitting behind a woman want to turn left, but letting all cars from the other direction turn ahead of her and ALL pedestrians walk in front of her.  Ok, she's being nice, but the 7 cars behind me were irritated.  It was the one woman who didn't want to wait any longer that I lost it on.  She  drove in the on-coming traffic lane and didn't stop for or pedestrian.  I laid on the horn and yelled.  Was she dangerous?  yes!  Did I handle it well?...probably not! 

We got home and I argued with my oldest about carrying the groceries...yep, I swore!  I told her to move her lazy...!  Yep, the neighbors heard me!  Yep, they KNOW I'M CHRISTIAN!  Yep, they know we're clergy!  Yep, they noticed my mouth!  No, they didn't see the apology later.  No, they didn't see the conversation about taking responsibility.  No, they didn't witness my faith growth as I wrestled with my sinfulness.

Yes, I'm a sinner!  Yes, I confess and seek forgiveness and am incredibly grateful for Grace.  But often it is helpful to realize it is usually our sinful side people see.  Often it is another person's sinful side we see. 

I hope I'm offering more grace than judgment...

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