Listen to me in silence, O coastlands; let the peoples renew their strength;
let them approach, then let them speak; let us together draw near for judgment.
This is where I began today in my devotions. Now, undertand it's Monday. Sundays are chaotic so Monday is the aftermath. So, sitting down and finding the silence was/is painful and impossible. I managed to be as squirmy as possible, as talky as possible, reaching for distractions and finding every possible way not to be in the silence as possible. There are just moments like that.
Then as I moved through the day I turned on the radio, I filled the space around me and I have listened to every sound that has passed by. I'm almost filled to the point of yelling...."turn that damn thing off!" to the next sound that filters in. I'm ready for the silence. I want the silence, but I'm so busy.
I had to move and engage life to be able to reach the silence. Truth...I had things I had to finish. I a relationship to go deeper in as Ii asked forgiveness for an oversight....I had Bible study to challenge me...I had life details to square away. I can approach God without all of those things crowding out the silence.
I finally found the silence. Or I thought I found it...then the phone rang and was off again. Ever feel this way? Like no matter what you do...it's impossible to filter out life so you can just be in the silence to you can be renewed?
I may have never hit silence, but I sure found God. I found God in the warmth of the sun...in the story of communion told by a son about his mother...in the secret gift a pastor took to the hospice patient....in the flood of relief in forgiveness...in the words of friendship from a dear parishioner...in the love of my daughter and the kindness of my husband. I found God in the chaos as I searched for the silence.
Sometimes I'm looking in the wrong place.....