I'm really not sure where to start with this one....it's really very personal so bear with me if I meander through....I just hope it makes sense.
Today was one of those days where I woke to a bad day. I was arguing with my husband and children, I had the worst headache in months, my computer freaked out and it was raining. I was in a VERY bad mood would be just the beginning of my problems. So you can imagine how praying probably wasn't the easiest thing for me to even atempt today...but it was the one thing I needed most.
I went to the office...but I hit the couch elsewhere in the building pretty quickly and lay there looking at the wood ceiling and beams and letting my mind go. It was amazing...today I could be silent. I could just listen. I collapsed into the hand of God and just lay there in many ways. I listened as the rain pitter pattered on the roof and I looked the ceiling imagining the hands that created it. I just lay there in the fingers of God and let God do God's thing....Romans says the Spirit intervenes where we don't know what to say...today was one of those days.
I admit the anger was still there when my husband brought me lunch, but we were able to get to completion of the argument and make a plan for resolution and growth. Growth is important...the argument is only healthy if it brings good stuff. I think this one will, but it was painful to get there. That is life...and it's not easy...it's worth it, but it's not easy. And when it's 2 strongwilled people who love each other the process is worth the growth point.
Today I found God in the silence as I collapsed and I found God in the argument and in the rain. I found God in the wholeness of the day from bad start to now...and I know God will be there as I love life into sleep and tomorrow. If I hadn't found God.....oh, the pain of being stuck there is not something I want to know. I am grateful for the prayers of silence and the Spirit's intervention.